This journey we are on has been very smooth, peaceful and comfortable. I love everything about our life right now. God's blessed us with a great church home, small group, jobs, house, neighbors, family, babysitter, etc...I could go on. Our life is about to change in a drastic way and I wish I could say I'm excited about it. B says I should look at it as a new adventure. I'm trying. I'm trying hard. I'm reading scripture passages that I find in the back of my Bible where it says "what to read when...". I'm at peace and I accept it, but I'm sad. I'm more than sad. I have an achy heart. My life is here. My mommy support group, my job, & my friends. Tears swell up just when I think about leaving this place. But a new adventure is waiting and Hantla's Handle Business (B's new motto). A new adventure...
B sent out about 50 'feelers' is what he calls them for jobs. I think he said of those 50, he sent out 25 resumes and CV's. He's heard back from only a handful that he did not get the job. He's had a few interviews and one was in Houston at CBS. B had a phone interview first a several Thursdays ago, and it went well. Then they called back and wanted to fly him to Houston so he flew out Sunday morning (April 6th) and flew home Tuesday night (April 8th). He stayed with Anna while there and had 2 days jammed pack of meetings, meals, and interviews. Before B left, we had a serious talk about what price we could move for. Realistically what was he worth in salary terms. The goal was to have an amount that would allow me to stay home since putting 3 kids into public daycare is unreasonable. Before he left, we had reached a solid number and prayed that either the offer would be too low to consider or way above that we couldn't pass on it.
But the amount was spot on (unfortunately). B flew home Tuesday night but we really didn't talk until Wednesday night after AWANA. We both just cried. Me more than him, but we both did knowing what the future holds. Knowing that we would have to move. God lined up everything to work out and we know God is faithful. We know God has plans for us; plans for us to prosper. B said CBS is great and I would love it there too. It's hard for me to just get on board because I feel like I'm just following him down there. In a sense, that's what I'm doing, but I knew this was a possibility when I said Yes on December 10th 8 years ago. B has always wanted to teach/work at the college level and now he has the chance. I'm so happy for him and very proud of his accomplishments. I guess I just thought it would be here in Wake Forest at SEBTS. It's not and I'm trying to come to grips with it.
Will I just cry for the next 2 months? I can't even think about leaving here without crying. How am I going to tell people. We haven't told small group yet. I think on Tuesday at our next meeting. There's just not a good time/place. The guys are at a guys night right now in Fayetteville shooting. Sara just had Baby Savannah this morning at 1am. Our life is here and I'm crying now as I type. I'm not even going to see Baby Caldwell #4 be born. I'm not going to the beach with the O'Janpas in September. I'm not going to watch fireworks at the Daniel house on Andrew's new deck. I'm not going to sleep over at J/K's house anymore and stay up til 3 am watching who knows what on TV. A new adventure...I want to stay on the old one!
I'm trying to be supportive and B is great. He lets me cry and he comforts me. I know he's sad too, but isn't as emotional as me about it. I don't even know how to tell my principal without breaking down in her office. I love my job and I love teaching. Even the thought of packing up my classroom and saying goodbye to Michael is heart-breaking. I might not even see his twins be born. I wonder how many more births I'm going to miss??? God has a mighty work to complete in me.
We were at Red Lobster the other night and we tried to talk about the move. I teared up there so we stopped. MOVE? And we'd have to sell our house...which means we have A LOT of work to do. The front yard, the front porch, the kitchen cabinets, and other stuff around. How would we find a house down there? When would we move? Where would we live? Too much to think about and too over-whelming.
Enough with all the negatives (there are many more), so lets try and focus on this new adventure. We will be around family for the first time. Anna and Paul live in Houston 30 minutes away from CBS. Marcus & Mandy live in College Station about an hour and a half away. B's parents are in Oklahoma so 9 hours north I think. My family in LA and MS is about 9-10 hours away. We can maybe attend Saints game in the Superdome and see home games throughout the season. Texas has higher paid teachers than NC right now, so when/if I wanted to go back to work, I'll get paid more. It doesn't really snow in Texas so I guess that might be a plus (that's a stretch and I know it). As I type, I'm having a hard time coming up with positives to this new adventure, but I know God is faithful and will reveal his perfect plan as time moves forward. If he's calling us to take this faith leap, then I will obey with my husband and jump....but I'll leave a trail of tears behind me.
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